1. |
Obliterate Me
01:49
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Oh I may never come to peace with my self-destructive tendencies
Caught between a binary of chaos and control
One-sided battles every night, I wish for death or cleansing light
Redeeming features out of sight, own goal after own goal
And my head is pounding
I'm lost in a game
I got stuck on and traded in
I shouldn't complain
But where will I go?
What should I do?
I'm flotsam that's drifting away from you
Got lost in Picaresque and Clarity, still hoping to be majesty
Hung up on all I could achieve if I'd just get out of bed
But after years of hate, decades of doubt, and lifetimes as a layabout
You hate the body in which you've been found, at war with your own head
And this world's collapsing
The pixels decay
This life is a battlefield
I shouldn't complain
But where will I go?
What should I do?
I'm flotsam that's drifting away from you
And what do I want?
Who can I be?
I'm a target, obliterate me
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2. |
Reluctant Alchemist
03:45
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I'm arguing with tigers in a language I don’t understand
I'm walking on eggshells that I've carefully arranged by hand
I'm running through a fire after showering in oil
I'm leaving my common sense behind and returning to home soil
I am doing my best to guard myself and shelter from the storm
That’s raging in my head and permanently changing form
Water, fire, earth and air
Hold me softly, take away my despair
I’m dancing in the darkness through a labyrinth of lies
I’m navigating unknown seas, and fighting with the tide
I’m wrestling my fears and the doubts that I’ve helped to create
I’m doing all I can to stay alive cause I’m afraid
I am taking care to be prepared for the trials that lie ahead
Not taking too much notice of the days I wish I’m dead
Water, fire, earth and air
Take me somewhere far from here
And every time I catch myself thinking along those lines
I’m likely to not challenge it and just pour a glass of wine
Transmuting cells in absence, scared that I’m not ready yet
To let myself be happy, oh I’d rather just forget
Water, fire, earth and air
Blur my vision, drown my fear
Copper, iron, gold and lead
Calm this cyclone in my head
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3. |
2:24
04:28
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I wrote my own commandments that I’ll never follow
A litany of rules that only help me wallow
Meticulous requirements I can’t possibly ignore
That fail to guide, only torment and leave me lying on the floor
I hold myself to standards that I’ll never reach
I used to think myself a leader who could guide or maybe teach
But I can’t trust myself, ambition left outdoors
Because I promised that this song would last two minutes twenty four
Specific outlines, guidelines, call them what you want but they’re far from helpful
Consisting of half-lies and psyches I can’t comprehend no matter how I’d like to
It’s not the end of the road but we’re approaching a bend
Don’t shoot the messenger, it’s your fault there’s no gates to defend
I’d write titles before songs, collect a catalogue
Like “Kids On Wheels” or “Cancelled Plans”, “Going to Cardiff”
“Dog So Large I Can’t See Past It”, all hopelessly romantic
I’d place myself on pantheons to feel a little less lost
Start a notebook again if it’s already written in
Can’t mix or match my purposes, I’m wearing thin with myself
I need help
Call up my friends to complain, consider starting again
I’m gonna say what I need to say, no matter how long it takes
I’m gonna say what I need to say, no matter how long it takes
The only boxes I’ll fit into will be the ones that I create
I’m gonna say what I need to say, no matter how long it takes
Find gender-neutral terms for king or empress, live in fiction
Convince myself this shapeless body’s owt but dereliction
Escape the present, think of ways that I could change to get away
From the fear that I may never be happy
Up and down we spiral out again
We drank too much, bled out and lost our friends
But at least we get the chance to try again
I’m gonna say what I need to say, no matter how long it takes
I’m gonna say what I need to say, no matter how long it takes
The only boxes I’ll fit into will be the ones that I create
I’m gonna say what I need to say, no matter how long it takes
You can’t deny me or disguise me, this is what I am
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4. |
Ugly Piano
02:33
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Gather secrets, hide them in a cage under my chest
Looking best in red eye-shadow and a charity shop dress
The city looks like nothing gazing down from eight floors up
I make a dismal list of reasons why I shouldn’t want to jump
This is mine, this is mine, this is mine, this is mine
This is mine, this is mine, this is mine, this is mine
The sleeping pills are cheaper than I previously thought
I scuttle like a spider under fear of being caught
No shame in being sad but scared to get essential help
I couldn’t face the pain, I couldn’t recognise myself
This is mine, this is mine, this is mine, this is mine
Not a man and that’s fine, this is mine, this is mine
There is joy in this life, rather die than deny
This is mine, this is mine, I’ll pretend that it’s fine
The songs I thought would resonate are far too on the nose
If this is not to be enshrined then let it just erode
Sometimes I’d rather die than live a life that’s insincere
But right now all I hope for is to burn and disappear
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5. |
Come Down and Sing
04:04
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Colour returned to my cheeks watching my favourite band in the August sun
Feelings I’d repressed bubble up, the future has begun
They showed me it was okay to be the way I am
And as long as I’m not dying I can exist without a plan
How can you not understand?
How can you feel the way you do?
I won’t let you hurt my friends
I won’t entertain you
Come down and sing at the top of your voice
You’re always gonna be with me against my choice
I’ve been strong, I’ve been brave, I’ve been scared, but I’m still here
Spent so long at the gates of my head just wishing for all to be clear
You think I am the enemy but I just want to exist
No matter what you call at me, you are nothing compared to this
How can you not understand?
How can you feel the way you do?
I won’t let you hurt my friends
I won’t entertain you
Come down and sing at the top of your voice
You’re always gonna be with me against my choice
I drink ‘til I cry, never question why
I stay out too late until the pavement is flush with my face
I love being who I am
I don’t give a damn what you think, I’m right
And I’ll try, I’ll try until I feel alright
I love being who I am
I don’t give a damn what you think, I’m right
And I’ll try, I’ll try until I feel alright
I love being who I am
I don’t give a damn what you think, I’m right
And I’ll try, I’ll try until I feel alright
I love being who I am
I don’t give a damn what you think, I’m right
And I’ll try, I’ll try until I feel alright
Come down and sing at the top of your voice
You’re always gonna be with me against my choice
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6. |
The Hands of Time
03:34
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You think you’ve got the upper hand, but I’ve analysed and memorised your patterns of attack
I’ve tried my best to understand why you’ve nullified and left my pride amongst the bric-a-brac
You’ve tried so hard to hurt me and slowly shut me down but I know what you’re saying isn’t true
You’ve done your best to kill me and turn my friends around, but I was made stronger than you
I can feel a hot one as I peer over the edge of the gothic railroad bridge
Suicide is not an option, I’ve survived all this offence, I am strong enough for this
But if it were to kill me, that would not be weak, more like a final battle cry
The government won’t help us, we’re tired and we’re sick, but I don’t want you to die
I will survive, I will survive
When all is done and all is said, this world was not designed for folk like you or me
But if there’s only one phrase left
The hands of time will move, but they will not move me
The hands of time will move, but they will not move me
The hands of time will move, but they will not move me
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